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What should have been a lovely couple of dates — a bid to improve my confidence and self-esteem while tackling the shark-infested waters of dating — has turned into a teaching moment for me, and has definitely made me feel a lot more wary about dating in general and more importantly, trusting men. There are tales as long as my arm from fellow plus-size women who have been duped or tricked in this way and frankly, a discussion needs to be had about it. Robert arrived and the date began. Obviously, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. Dating as a plus-size woman, you see, is an exercise rooted more in patience and frustration than in romance. That was the last time I heard from him. When you are not being ignored by prospective interests, you are either subjected to humiliation and abuse or you are fetishised for your weight. As plus-size women, we are not afforded the same humanity, care, love and respect as our thinner counterparts. It was a couple of weeks before Christmas and I was going on my first date since the end of my last relationship, two years ago. This can force a monumental drop in confidence and either put us off dating for life or lead us to partake in more casual dating in an effort to prove our worth through sex. My aim was to raise awareness, and while I received some amazing, positive feedback, it also came with its share of trolling and horrible comments — almost all from men, who were either laughing at the situation or suggesting I change my appearance in order to be treated better next time. There are tales as long as my arm from fellow plus-size women who have been duped or tricked in this way and frankly, a discussion needs to be had about it. I think writing about it is a brave act. Bbw selfshot tumblr

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3 Comments

  • Kira says:

    I had been terrified of meeting and talking to men for fear of them judging my appearance. I think writing about it is a brave act. It highlights the lack of respect that some men have for women, particularly if they do not comply with social norms.

  • Goramar says:

    Luckily or maybe unluckily? A wave of embarrassment and humiliation washed over me, and I went into my bathroom and cried.

  • Voodoojar says:

    To say I was extremely nervous was a severe understatement. Regardless of body shape, we all deserve to be treated with respect and basic common decency. This can force a monumental drop in confidence and either put us off dating for life or lead us to partake in more casual dating in an effort to prove our worth through sex.

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