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Dating Romance and Love
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Romantic love is not always related to real love, especially when it ignores the true personalities and mutual interest of those involved. Jewish society cannot tolerate a situation where a young woman, or a young man lets her or himself be used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Lacking these ingredients, all the physical attractions in the world will not sustain a relationship, or provide long run happiness for either party. Intimacy without true love, commitment and permanence is a price too high to pay. The result is a transaction in which the young woman is selling herself cheaply, and all too often, suffers a loss of self-respect, self-worth, self-esteem, and in many instances the breaking of the relationship. In order to master the fire of attraction rather than be consumed by it, Judaism teaches the virtue and value of tsnius or modesty. To fool oneself through this tactic is to lose control over oneself. To the Jew, tsnius is a major element of true beauty. All this is a matter of decency, honesty and fairness to yourself, to the other person involved, and to your family and Jewish tradition. Infatuation and Romance? In a sustained marital relationship, the external physical criteria of attractiveness are harmonized with the primary personality factors.
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Jewish society cannot tolerate a situation where a young woman, or a young man lets her or himself be used, taken advantage of, or hurt. Friendship Before Marriage Why does Jewish Tradition demand that the relationship between men and women before marriage stop at the point of physical contact? Real feminine beauty is a highly subjective, personal matter.